Fact.

I'm a loser. I really am.

I realized this walking out of clinical today. I was walking out with the girls in my clinical group, each of them chatting with another, except me of course. I called out, "Bye girls!" as I walked to my car. Guess how many told me "goodbye" back. Nada, zip, zero. No one even looked at me.

So, I've compiled a list of the reasons why I am a loser/boring person:

-I am shy, until you get to know me. I despise talking in front of people. I like meeting new people, but only one on one. Sometimes I feel like my voice is trapped in my body, like there's a voice trying to speak and be heard, but my mouth won't work.
-All of my, let's see... 3 friends (not including my fiance) are all very strong personalitied people. They are all music theatre/vocal performance majors. We've been friends since highschool. I think sometimes we are friends because I can live vicariously through them and they can talk for me.
-The only people who think I'm cool are my mom, my fiance, and old people. I think old people just like me because they have a lot of stories to tell and no one listens to them. I love listening to people.
-I am synthetically happy, thanks to my friend, the antidepressant. I can't just "be happy" on my own. I can't turn my freakin' brain off. The worries don't stop.
-I don't smoke or party.
-I am a Christian. I actually like going to church, when I am not working.
-I study ALL THE TIME. Making the Dean's List is like an obsession to me.
-I enjoy old lady things, like scrapbooking, cooking, quilting, reading, and photography.
-I don't like horror movies/TV shows.
-Roller coasters scare me. I don't like heights.

I wish I could climb into my best friend's body for a day. Just a day, so I can teach myself how to be more interesting... or atleast acknowedgable.

Sorry for the downer post. Off to study for my exam tomorrow, if I can stay awake.