Dear Headache,

You've been annoying me for 3 days straight. Please. Go away. K, thanks.

Me

Edit::Winter: a collaboration of my photographs

I'm feeling too lazy to type out everything I've enjoyed this break, so I just posted pictures instead. I've totally enjoyed my break, and even made some money working at my part-time job and occassionally photographing. I haven't even thought about school much. I haven't even thought about ordering my books yet! Oops. Anyway, onto the pictures. Enjoy.

This is Rocky, my grumpy-like-an-old-man-who-just-crapped-his-diaper cat.

Trition, the sweetfaced puppers who eats my bras.

This would be a delicious cup of coffee that my cousin made. Notice her red table. She painted it herself.

She has amazing taste.

My cutie cousin and her hubby being all sweet-like.This is them and their tree swing. It's totally charming.

I like to call this picture, "Whose walking who?" That would be my mom versus Triton (the bra-eating dog).

Beautiful barn in my cousin's backyard. I could spend a whole day taking pictures at her place.

This was the top of my mom's birthday cake. It was a tiramisu cake, and yes, it was as good as it looked!

Gingersnap cookies and red velvet sandwich cookies! I'm too lazy to post the links. Comment if you want the recipie.

I just really love this picture in its simplicity. It's currently my desktop background.

I don't think I've been this excited since I was proposed to by my fiance.

My baby brother just told me that he put a beautiful engagement ring on layaway for his girlfriend. Some would say that I am to young to think about marriage; my baby brother is 18 and so is his girlfriend, but they have been together for 3 years through thick and thin, and they really love each other. I am not sure I've seen people so in love unconditionally so young for so long. I'm really proud of them.

My brother says he won't marry his girlfriend until she gets out of college (she is in nursing school too), which I agree is a great plan. I don't think it would be as fun to spend your first year married with the stresses of nursing school. I am so excited for them, and I love his girlfriend like she is my own sister. We have such an amazing bond, and I don't think he could have picked a better person to begin a life and family with.

My favorite pup

I don't like dogs. I never have. Whenever I see a dog in public, I am not one of those people who are all over it, talking baby talk and petting it. I usually run away!

So, why on God's green earth am I in love with my brother's pooch?

(Please excuse my mom's psychadelic pj pants. They're even worse in color.)

I guess the better question would be, how could I not be in love with my brother's pooch? Look at that face. It just makes you wanna go, "Awwww".

Lord knows I should hate the sucker. Since my brother rescued him 6 weeks ago, he has:

-Terrorized my cat to the point where he won't move from the top of the refridgerator.

-Chewed my favorite bra from VS bra in half.

-Chewed my glasses.

-Eaten cat poop out of my cat's litter box.

-Ate gingerbread cookie dough right off the cookie sheet after I turned my back for .21298 seconds.

-Chewed the stuffing out of my brother's best friend's blanket.

-Ripped a hole in my mom's brand new sheets.

-Somehow found my new skeen of expensive yard and managed to cover the entire living room in it.

-Eaten egg shells.

-Threw up an entire ketchup packet.

If you've ever seen the movie Marley & Me, he's essentially a black Marley. Somehow, I just love him and I totally relish in my responsibility of being an Auntie.

2009

Overall, I didn't end up hating 2009.

Last year, I:

-Celebrated my 20th birthday.
-Suffered one of the worst bouts of depression since middle school.
-Got engaged.
-Bought my wedding dress. (If you are my fiance, do not click this link. Thank you lovey!)
-Photographed artistic nudes for the first time.
-Had a real relationship with my dad for the first time since I was about 8 years old.
-Learned how to crochet.
-Gave money to a friend in need.
-Watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation for the first time, and loved it.
-Broke my really expensive camera.
-Started calling my fiance's mom "Mom".
-Volunteered.
-Spent the most amazing week at the beach with my grandmother. She still carries a seashell in her pocket from our week together to remind her of our time.
-Saw a 10 lb baby boy born (for the first time) named Christian Lucifer (oxymoron, anyone?).
-Started an antidepressant.
-Decided I definitely want to be a midwife.
-Helped my fiance save almost $2000 in a matter of months.
-Saw an old friend for the first time in 4 years.
-Managed to keep my 20 year old, crapass car up and running for yet another year.
-Somehow managed to put off 7 months of wedding planning with the exception of accidentally finding my wedding dress.
-Put in a cather for the first time (and passed out).
-Fell in love with my fiance more than ever.
-Become a different person, in a good way.
-Made the Dean's List again, making my parents very proud.
-Lost about 30 pounds.
-Watched my baby brother graduate and already make a very sucessful life as a brilliant mechanic.
-Gave an injection for the first time.

Numb

I feel a little weird tonight; numb almost.

This evening, I saw the guy who abused me when I was younger. I saw him, he spoke to me, and I weakly smiled. I never know how to feel when I see him, which thankfully isn't often. He has never brought it up, I wonder if he even remembers.

Sometimes, I feel numb about it, and I question myself about whether or not it happened at all. But seriously, why would my mind make up an evil trick like that? Of course he abused me. He forced to me look at him, twice. I didn't want to. I didn't want any of it. I guess I just feel numb about it, even after so many years because whenever I see him he acts totally cool around me.

I hate him.

i <3 Ikea!

My fiance and I spent our New Year's Day shopping for furniture for our cabin, and it was totally awesome.

We made the almost 2 hour trek to Ikea, and it was so worth it. We got in and got the stuff we really wanted, paid for it, and then went back in the store to browse and managed to pick up almost $300 of more stuff. There's just something about Ikea that makes you spend tons of money!

We ended up with a bed, 2 nightstands, a small dresser (our bedroom ceiling is sloped so we have to get furniture to fit specifically for that room), a TV stand (ours is in pine), and a chair. Oh, and cups.

It was so fun to spend the day together and planning for our life together. I can't wait.