Dear bloggy friends,
I am have having trouble wrapping my head around some things from my patient's death. Maybe you guys have some insight into helping me see things a different way. A fresh perspective/insight may be helpful.
One of the things I that has been on my mind popped up when I heard the doctor say to my patient's wife, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but there's nothing left for us to do. He's going to die". My problem with this is how we as healthcare workers determine the line of when to stop lifesaving treatments. When the patient doesn't improve quickly enough? When their insurance stops covering treatment? When the unit gets over-crowded, When the patient's "quality of life" isn't going to be the same as before, even if they do live? What makes us think we can determine someone's fate? Who are we to be the dictator of someone's lifespan? I am not the Creator God, nor do I want to be. I shouldn't choose when a patient lives or dies, and I shouldn't listen to other people's orders of when a patient lives or dies, right?
This weekend, there was a point when the doctor ordered more vasopressins to increase my patient's blood pressure, and as soon as I went to give it, he stopped me and said, "No more. We are not doing anything else for him". After he said that, he walked to the patient's wife and said that she would lose her husband today.
I have witnessed miracles, and seen people walk out of near-death situations unscathed; maybe this is the reason why I struggle with other people, such as doctors and nurses, calling the shots on someone's life. If we listened to doctor's all the time, many "miracles" would be dead right now. Heck, if we listened to my grandmother's doctors and nurses, she would be dead right now. I guess I just think that every has their chance of a miracle if they hold out long enough.
I guess I just want to know what my role in this is. What does God expect from me as a nurse when it comes to healing? How do I know when to listen to the doctor and stop treatment? How will I know what to do, and if it is the right thing to do? Who am I to determine someone's lifespan? At what point do you determine that someone's life is no longer worth saving?
i don't have many religious leanings, and i don't really think in terms of prayer when i am going through troubled times, but i DO believe that things as important as birth and death will happen the way they are intended, regardless of human interruption. IMO, nurses and doctors and others in the "life saving" medical professions are here to help nudge people along the right path, but ultimately we will go the way we are intended. i prescribe very strongly to my own gut feelings, and i'd like to think that it's a higher powers way of nudging me in the right direction. when a doctor says it's time to stop, or a nurse hugs a grieving woman, it's just another way to set all of us on the right path, to where we're supposed to be, armed with the knowledge and experience we need.
ReplyDeleteif that made any sense. i hope you can come to some semblance of peace with the situation... ultimately, i've never been in a remotely similar situation, so my reply is only based on an unexperienced opinion. (((hugs)))
Wow, that sounds like one of those questions you will ponder for the rest of your life. I will venture a guess to say that with those thoughts and feelings of compassion, that is what will make you an excellent nurse. If you are open to miracles they will happen. But I will also say that maybe (and I am hoping this is the case rather than just needing to make more bed space) maybe when you have done this for a certain amount of time, you will know when its time to let go, or time to continue fighting??? Just pray on every patient, and let God be the one to direct your actions....
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