Woody care

Tamra, at Surprisingly Sane has been talking about penises. So, naturally I've been thinking about... well, penises, and it made me decide to share a story.

When I was 15, I did a CNA program through my highschool. I started working at my local hospital as a CNA on the cancer unit. Some of the nurses on the unit used to call it "Heaven's Waiting Room" because most of the patients were there to die.

Anyway, this one middle-aged male was dying from some sort of cancer (that's irrelevant anyway). I was doing my bathing rounds, and I got to his room, got my supplies, and started a bed bath for him. He was barely conscious when I went in the room. I cleaned him up, all except for his catheter, and as I start to clean his catheter, he roused from the land of unconsciousness, and says to me, "You're real good at that!" Now me being, well, me, turned six shades of red, not that he could really tell anyway, cause he was dying, or supposed to be. The nurse in the room that was giving him his medications started laughing. I quickly finished cleaning his catheter, as he began telling the nurse about how I had "the perfect touch". I had the perfect touch alright; my "perfect touch" gave this strange man a woody!

I was took the brunt of the jokes that week. The nurses would tease me about doing, "woody care" on my patients instead of "catheter care".

As if this wasn't embarassing enough with me being 15, giving my patient a woody, etc, I saw the patient the next week leaving the hospital. Before I realized what tumbled out of my mouth, I said, "I thought you were supposed to be dead!" He just smiled. The nurses say I "healed" him.

I think he's still alive today.