Sorry, no updates recently, other than turning the big 20...

We haven't had clinicals because of "Creative Scholarship Day" and visiting other places. I think I'm supposed to watch surgery sometime this week. Should be interesting.

I am trying to figure out my summer schedule. I think I've decided on public speaking and maybe taking my free elective. I think I'm going to try to see if "Nature photography" or "Ceramics" would pass through from the community college. I am hoping for a stress-free summer. :)

That is all.

PS- I love my fiance.

I got a C and I'm not sad!

This past weekend was my 20th birthday and I also had a lot of time to spend with my wonderful grandma. I also had a Med/Surg exam today on shock/cardiac. Totally not my thing. I spent a little time during the week preparing for the test, thinking I could finish studying around my birthday on the weekend, but that didn't go as planned (I'm not complaining). Instead, I spent my time hanging out with my granny, who I love and cherish every moment wish. Every time I see her or hear her voice calling to remind me my birthday is in "14 days!" or "9 days!" or "6 hours!", I love her even more. I try to savour every moment spend with my granny I can. I want to be just like her; I want part of her ingrained in me. She is a fantasticly amazing woman. She almost passed away in October after open heart surgery. She was in ICU for 19 days, her organs started to fail, and the doctor's prognosis was grim, but she miraculously is walking and talking and still making people's days today. I know I have so many things to learn from her, from a woman who raised her own 5 children working on a farm, raised her sister's kids, and also took in a billion foster children. She has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. Needless to say, my family is blessed to have her around still, and having the opportunity to hang out with my granny, especially when you realize how suddenly life can be taken away, took prioroty over my exam. I got a C, and I'm proud.

I also love...

Chick-fil-a, being told I'm so much like my grandma, my grandma's nicknames for everyone, which include "Peach", "Eightball", "Lizard", just to name a few, (no meaning behind them whatsoever), sunsets, blue sky days, fresh flowers in a pretty vase, birthday parties, passion, cute haircuts, making memories, getting the perfect gift from someone who knows you so well, new toothbrushes, leaving the dentist office, a full tank of gas, finished remodeling projects, fancy picture frames, pearls, my sissy, learning about different cultures, sunroofs, being happy to eat alone although you have people who love you, Better Homes and Garden's Designer Suite, Kodak moments, finding the perfect hairspray, Victoria's Secret lipgloss, learning something about love every day...

Things I love in life are...

God, my fiance, Starbucks, making someone's day, my mom, big, dangly earrings, daises, pleasure reading when there's nothing better to do, not having anything to do, learning, polka dots, interesting socks, driving with my boyfriend, compliments, people watching, modern day quilting, Cinderella, babies, my SSRI, donating to Locks of Love, iced lattes, getting my eyebrows done, chocolate, exercising, seashells, the beginning of spring, taking pictures of people, especially people I love, complimenting old lady's on their jewlery/attire, mean, ugly cats no one else likes, my patients, traveling, midwifery, hot tea, chick flicks, my granny, volunteering, being young, photography blogs, the ocean, Sheetz coffee, peppermint Chapstick, new pajamas, faith, having a real-life fairy-godmother, family get-togethers, being completely content with what you have, vintage jewlery, window shopping, inside jokes, being in love, having a girl friend with a boy's name, Christmas, claw foot tubs, nursing school, pregnant women, vitamins, laughing all by yourself...

Recovery retreat

So today our clinical was to go to a recovery retreat for alchoholics and drug users. It was an awesome experience, and I learned a lot from it. I actually learned more from the two hours we were there than any time I've spent at the veteran's hopsital. It is amazing to listen to the group sessions and hear people talk so open and honest and be so real and raw with their feelings. I never really expected that. I also realized (not that I'm not open minded or anything, I have just never really been exposed to this type of thing) that recovery from an addiction is not merely giving up drinking or using drugs. It's so much more than that. There are so many little strings attached: the law, your friends, your family, redefining who you are as a person because when you stop hanging out with your druggie friends or stop drinking with people, you suddenly have no friends, no identity. It's much more complex than I ever thought. I am amazed by the people who can actually stop the vicious cycle of addiction, and become better, stronger, more admirable people because of their experience. I also really liked how the group leader, who is also a recovered alcoholic of 9 years, had no formal training, but knew the patterns, the cycle, everything all too well. He was open, honest, and quite frankly, really hard on the residents at the retreat, but I think it was good for them. It's easy to go through the motions and read some silly paper or book that tells you what you need to do, but that doesn't really help you to recover. It's people who help guide you, even test you; that's how you get better.

Also, a very weird thing for me... I didn't realize how young the residents were going to be. 85% were under 30 I'm guessing. There was a boy I knew from highschool there. It was just super weird for me to be looking at him and thinking, here I am in college, and you're in rehab. How does life go so wrong, and how do you get so far in to addiction that you blow your whole life away?

Nursing school is so NOT environmentally friendly

I am spring cleaning my bookbag. Thus far the contents are as follows:
-3 pens that don't write
-Part of a few pens...?
-A squished bag of popcorn
-A fork
-2 spoons
-An unopened pack of notecards
-A bottle of lotion
-4 tubes of Chapstick
-3 pair of earrings
-Mascara
-My license (I thought I lost that...)
-A 30 pack of mechanical pencils
-My DS charger (I thought I lost that too)
-6 mechanical pencils
-4 black pens
-A penlight
Prednisone
-Pearls (Thought I lost those as well!)
-Bach Rescue Pastilles
-CD with oldies beach music
-ATI CD-A piece of chocolate
-56 cents-And lastly, an ENTIRE Food Lion bag of written notecards.

The funny thing is, there are no books...!

Girl, I don't care what you say! I'm gonna walk!

Soo... today was long and interesting clinical day.

Guess who passed out putting in a catheter? Her FIRST catheter? Noneother than your's truely...

First of all, I was extremely nervous about putting in a catheter; it was the thing I had dreaded ever since learning how to do it. Luckily, my patient was too confused/agitated to realize I was a.) new at the whole catheterization thing and b.) passed out during the procedure. That was just about all we had going for us. Not only was I extremely nervous, but the patient had MRSA, and of all places, His URINE. Because of this lovely infection, we had to gown up in our gorgeous PPE. That stuff makes you really hot. It was already really hot on the floor, like unusually warm, so by the time I got everything set up and started, I was breaking out a sweat. I set up my sterile field perfectly, donned my sterile gloves perfectly, cleaned the meatus and surrounding area perfectly and I even inserted it correctly, however no urine would come out. My instructor and I (She was watching) pulled the catether out and twisted it going in to bypass the prostate. Still no urine. This is where I started getting really ansty and really hot. My instructor pushed on the patient's bladder and urine started to dribble out, very, very, very slowly. I started feeling really funny, and seeing spots, and I knew what was about to happen so I started crying and too the floor I went. Thankfully my instructor was so sweet and she said I did an excellent job. I apparently stayed on the floor a few minutes and then I got up to a chair and tried to refocus. It was an experience...

Another of my patients was extremely confused. He kept trying to get out of bed when he wasn't supposed be, because first of all, he had no clue what the heck was going on, and second, he had ulcers on his feet and they were so swollen that they were curved funny. There's no way that guy could be steady at all. I walked by his room and saw him half out of bed, so I went in and tried to get him back in bed. He was strong for a skinny old man. Feisty too, saying, "I was walkin' before you could stand!" Well, duh, you're like 398034 years old and I'm 19. Duuuuh! Some people get really freaky when they get confused, but he was funny. I asked him where he was on several occassions, and some of the answers I got were "somewhere", "the Devil's Canyon", "the military base", "Joe something's garage". He was a character. I was afraid to be in his room alone because I thought he might hit me because he was very agitated and he really believed he had somewhere to go. I kept trying to put him back in bed, and he was stare at me and move toward me like he might try to hit me. He was pretty angry. Of course if I thought I was going to be late to something and there was some little girl in a white uniform trying to stick me back in bed I'd be pissed too.

Fun day.

If they hadn't taken away my razors, I wouldnt be here!

So I've had some interesting times in my psychiatric nursing clinical at the veteran hospital.

At first I thought I was going to see a lot of PTSD cases, which there are many, but come to find out there is a special clinic for that. In actuality, there is a lot of alcoholism and depression.

Last week I had to pleasure of talking to a lady who was bipolar, and she her mood was currently bottoming out. She said she was admitted because her family had taken away her razor. (I hope I kept a straight face during that conversation. It makes me laugh now). See, to her, if her family had let her keep her razor and continue to cut herself, then she wouldn't go crazy!

I don't mean to sound sadistic at all, but in mental health nursing, you have to laugh or you just get done in. You're dealing with people who are very, very messed up, and sometimes they say things that are funny, or totally don't make sense. A sense of humor helps us deal with things we don't understand. It's not normal to want to kill someone, or yourself, or to hallucinate animals, or think you're the Queen of England, but you have to keep a light heart about it or else you'll end up right beside the man who thinks he is being eaten alive by earthworms.

Nursing is great. I love it. I mean, what other major would encourage you to play Yatzee with a homicidal man during class?

First post

So why am I creating this blog?

Because I have lots of memories and stories that I want to remember. I want to remember my patients and see how far I've come when I read this one day.

About me:

I am a sophore nursing student (BSN).

My passion and ultimate goal is nurse midwifery.

I love my family and my wonderful fiance.

I study way too much.